Monday, December 9, 2013

On being 25

Just really tired all the time.

Need to pack some bags and go on a trip before I

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Penis-Long Distance Relationship Correlation

Bring your popcorn and your coke, today's topic will be slightly different from the usual home decor/ rant posts you've known until now.

Because only a mind like Banh & Mi's could come up with such a subject. 

Alors commençons par la théorie implicitement formulée par Banh : Il y a une corrélation entre la taille de l'engin et le succès de la relation longue distance. 

Le succès serait juste quantifié pour des raisons de simplicité en temps(fuck that trop compliqué 2 facteurs) et distance. 

S'il existe une corrélation et qu'à partir des données de statistiques je peux trouver le coefficient, cela voudrait dire qu'à partir de la distance Paris-Montréal, nous serions en mesure de déduire la taille de l'engin du Moose! 

Les couples dit normaux habitent en moyenne à quoi...disons entre Laval et Brossard. Ça fait 38km. Un pénis moyen en érection mesure 14cm (source: wikipedia), en érection parce que la taille au repos ne donne pas une moyenne fiable. C'est trèèèès simpliciste mais avec ces données, le coefficient serait de 0.368cm de viande par km de distance.  Sachant qu'il y a 5750km séparant Montréal et Paris, l'engin de M. ferait donc 2116cm. Avec une petite marge d'erreur de 5%, ce résultat se rapproche plutôt de la réalité!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Suburban Life

That's right, as weird as it feels to write these words, I've been pulled back into the suburban lifestyle.

Things never really change in Lachine. 

Long commutes. Unbearably long bus rides in good company next to retards and annoying teens listening to drake, and incredibly stupid conversations, the 191 never being on time.
Mowing the lawn.  I mixed up gas and oil last time and for half a day my neighbours saw the moose and I on the lawn, syphoning the horrid mixture with fkin straws from the lawn mower. 
Spiders. Trust me, if you haven't lived in Lachine, you have no idea how big spiders can get.
Life on the streets stop after 7pm.  Actually you never see anyone on the streets outside of school dropping/picking up hours. 

On the bright side, living in Lachine also has its perks.

No rent. Living at home, but without the parents. This means I could actually SAVE UP and buy myself an apartment in the city someday, or with a little perseverance, a shoebox studio in Paris!! 
Almost unlimited space for my dog and not too many car accident risk. Cuz you know, pomeranians are exactly like children. 

Just thought I would put a screencap of Revolutionary Road, although our life is in no way as dramatic as Kate & Leo's.  Have you had the chance to watch it? Isn't it a brilliant film? (and brilliantly depressing if such a thing exists)

This couple has more class and elegance in one of their depressed fingernail than the whole Lachine population. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Plant Sitter

Not sure if 'plant sitter' is an actual term.
But for now I am the designated watchful guardian for Pat's sweet herbs, and I shall keep an eye on them during her absence. Pat, la température à Montréal a ridiculement droppé depuis ton départ, je sors tes bébés le matin sur mon patio et je les rentre le soir pour qu'ils restent au chaud.

Have the time of your life in Beijing girl, I will carry on your Capsul legend and babysit your herbs until it is my turn to fly away ;)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

A Moveable Feast

I guess this whole wandering back to reality/Montreal thing feels like a giant hangover following the most incredible party.  My Paris party lasted for a year and it is still vibrating through me, like a moveable feast.

When you push back the thought of changing to local time, so that at least on your watch, you'll always be in Paris.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Quick update

I don't even know if anyone is still reading this blog by now, feels like an abandoned house, yet it feels warm and cozy to be back. 

So to sum up the 2 questions I've been getting lately from friends that still remember my existence lol :

When are you going back to Montreal ? Are you going to stay in France forever ?
I'm coming back on July 31st, for an indefinit period of time. Please bare with me upon my return, as I will most likely become depressed and get drunk on Paris memories.

What about the moose, is he going to join you ?
The moose will join me in Montreal at the end of the summer and pursue a career in the woods as a lumberjack.

I'll get back to blogging real soon, meanwhile you can stalk me on instagram with the username bloomingcolors :



Monday, March 11, 2013


Looking at all these love locks makes me realize if I ever do anything this cheesy, it would be to seal the deal with this city I have come to love so much.

I would marry this city if I could.